What happened to this family (continued . . .)?
What happened to myself and my siblings was everyone’s worst nightmare; that is, to be separated from our Mom and from each other. We all experienced the shock of being abandoned, abducted, and abused. When we finally reunited, after a five (5) year separation, the sad thing is that as a family, we never received any counselling and we never talked with each other about our dreadful experiences. I have two older sisters, and they never lived with us, nor did our third oldest brother. This brother and my oldest sister were forced to move out from my mother’s place after being there for only a short time. The attempt to be together, even during short visits, was nothing but chaos, jealousy, lack of respect for each other, conflict, secrets, and silence. It was a “crazy making” family.
As siblings, we have all made mistakes, we hurt each other deeply, and we have experienced life’s many tests along the way, but some of my sisters turned out to be unforgiving and developed callouses in their hearts. To feel aloneness is different from the feeling of loneliness. Loneliness can creep in when we are amongst others or especially if we have family and we feel such a great sense of emptiness, pain or depression because of the lack of connection within our family. My second oldest brother had a great sense of pride, he suffered depression and he found the only escape from his difficulties was to commit suicide. Our last remaining brother started a new life in an assisted living dwelling where he has met friends who have become part of his family.
Through perseverance, our family demonstrated that the impossible is possible. We made our lives and our children’s lives better. Mom moved from being a welfare recipient to working part-time as a proofreader for the local newspaper in Brampton, Ontario, to a full-time, professional proofreader for MacLean Hunter in Toronto. She married her long-time friend who was always there for her. Her daughters also achieved the impossible by successfully completing high school or university, entering the workforce, and having their own families.
Sadly, our Stepfather passed away in March of 2005 and our Mom passed away six months later in September of 2005. If our Mom was alive today, she would be 98 years old, and she would be the proud grandmother of ten (10) grandchildren and five (5) great grandchildren.
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